Formative feedback – 10/05

After presenting my work to the group, I was given a few things to improve on. More work needs to be done on the body text, particular on page 4 because the quote sites awkwardly against the text and would look better in the middle of the article. One of the ways I can help correct the text is by increasing the column size. On pages 2 and 3, the orange illustrative quote is still lost on the image so I need to try other ways to make it read well on the page; suggested ways I could do this were to try placing some of the words going along the arm of the person in the photo. If that didn’t work, I could try making the image orange and having the text overlay in black or white. Another suggestion was for pages 4 and 5, to try and see what it would look like if I were to have an image and blank background next to each with the quote on one part and the article text on the other. For example, I could have the photo of the feet on one half with the body text placed on this image and then on the other half it would be a white page with the illustrative quote placed on top in orange.

Improvements:

I tried all of what was suggested to me within the feedback but I found that none of it was working. The first I did was look at the illustrative quotes on each spread. I took the ‘Genderbread person’ quote and placed it on a white background, moved the photos and adjusted the body text to be in alignment with it all. It did work in a way but I didn’t like how separate the white background made the page look. It change the pace of it a lot and I preferred it with the photograph as the whole background because it felt like it was all one piece rather than the photo being separate to the illustrative typography. However, I did like the way the quote was placed on the right hand image; I like the effect of having the smaller white box on top of the image, I just don’t think it looks right having it for the quote because it would look odd placing the body text next to it – but this could be an idea for how I present my body text.

Body text

I was told to use more columns to help refine my text on the page so I increased the columns from 3 to 8. I wanted there to be plenty of space around the text so by having more columns means that I could position them more central and have more blocks of text in a row if I wanted to. In the previous experiment, I had put the quote inside a white box which was placed on top of the image; I really liked how this looked because I felt like even though it was placed in a box so it’s separate from the image, you can still see the image around the article so it felt like all one piece of work. One of the things I found I was struggling with when creating the article was hierarchy between the image, body text and illustrative typography. Using a white box to place my text in, I think will help balance out the hierarchy so you see the text is just as important as the illustrative type and image. So far, I think that it has done just that and I like that there’s a certain part of the article specifically for the story and I think it’s an aesthetic I could easily use throughout the piece of work.

I began changing the composition of the ‘I’ve finally reached…’ but no matter where I put it there was always one point on the page where you couldn’t see the orange writing properly. Instead of having the black and white image, I tried putting an orange filter to it on Photoshop so that I could overlay with white text which might help it read better. Having tried the orange filter before on a previous experiment I wasn’t hopeful that this was going to work and it didn’t. I don’t like the look of it I find that it makes it look far too bright and is quite distracting when on a page.

Since that the other illustrative quotes I had drawn were working on the article, I came to the conclusion that I should just redraw the quote because it’s clearly not working. I think the problem with the one I’ve got is that there’s too many different kinds of writing which are all really different from each other and some of the writing is also very thin, so it’s a struggle to try and sit all the words on the page so that they align properly and can all be seen. When drawing it out again, I had these things in mind and drew the words as thick letters so they would read well off the page. I was also mindful of the composition too because I knew how I wanted it to sit on the page.

Once I’d placed it onto the article, I could already see a huge difference with what I had previously. It’s a lot more easily read and sits nicer on the page because it flows more.

Screen Shot 2017-05-24 at 20.11.35.png

Next:

My next point now is that I will continue to work on the body text, placing them inside the white boxes and continue to refine the rag.

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Author: ellenreiddesign

First year Graphic Communication student at Cardiff Metropolitan University.

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