Formative feedback – 08/05

Article presented: transgendersurgery

Feedback from tutorial/things to improve:

  • change the typeface
    • change to something more modern/geometric
  • improve body text
    • have a stand first to show beginning of article
    • break up the text with quotes
    • currently using 3 columns, increase the amount of colour to change the composition of the text
  • try changing the composition of the illustrative type on both double paged spreads
    • ‘The Genderbread Person’ – have it spanning across two pages rather than on 1
    • ‘I’ve finally reached…’ – the orange is lost on the image, change so it isn’t
  • front cover:
    • instead of typing out the heading etc, hand write it instead
    • take out the orange lines
    • try an orange filter on the image

Improvements

Front Cover:

There was only a few things to adjust on the front cover. I took out the orange lines and removed the text in the right-hand corner; I then replaced it having written it in my handwriting and scanned it in. Just making the simple changes I have done has improved it so much; it looks far more contemporary now.

I was also suggested to try and change the colour of the image to an orange filter rather than black and white and then have white text overlaying it. I tried this but because of the contrast of tone within the photograph the colour orange was coming out far too dark and as I tried to adjust there was too much of a contrast of lighter and darker tones. I compared it to the original use of black and white and I much preferred that look to the orange.

Screen Shot 2017-05-09 at 11.40.07.png

Final look of front cover:

Screen Shot 2017-05-24 at 14.07.45.png

2x Double Page Spreads:

1)

I was told that the block of text to the right needed more work; so to add a stand first to mark that it’s the beginning of the article and then add quotes to break it up. Also the illustrative type was getting lost in the image so I spent a lot of time changing the composition of the type until I was sure that it was in a place that it could be read. Another part I need to change was the typeface I used. Originally I was using Kohinoor Bangla which looked dated so I changed it to Avenir; I like the geometric look to it and it has loads of weight options which is good when placing quotes. The first paragraph I used as a stand first and chose to write it in white text and have it bolder so it was clear that you read that piece of text first. I composed the stand first separate to the rest of the text but I still wanted it to be clearer it was a part of the same thing so I used orange lines at the top of the stand first and beneath the body text so there was a clear start and end indication. I pulled out a quote and had it placed in the centre of the text.

Final composition:

Screen Shot 2017-05-24 at 14.24.34

2)

On this spread the body text needed the typeface changing to Avenir and needed to be edited more. With the illustrative type, I was suggested to try different compositions, perhaps spread it across the two pages so there was different space for the body text to sit. I tried this, experimenting with a variety of different compositions but none of them work as well as the original because it interrupted the pace of how the quote should have been read so I kept it to how I had it before and spent more time working on the body text. I broke it up more so used 3 columns rather than 2 so that the text was spread out more. I included a quote which I was finding awkward to place but chose to have it at the bottom of the body text, joined with an orange line and then an orange line at the top to create a box-shaped composition. I felt that compared to what I had created before the pace of this text was working a lot better.

Screen Shot 2017-05-24 at 18.23.39.png

Back page:

There wasn’t much work I needed to do on this one other than improve the body text; so spend more time on it, include a quote and change the typeface. I wasn’t sure whether to include another illustration but as I’d said before I didn’t think it needed it since it was the final page. I did ask if there was anything more I could do with it and I was suggested to include a big full stop to mark the end of the article or an ellipse to show the story is continuing. I tried both of these ideas along with an explanation mark but my favourite one was the use of 3 dots to mark the story continuing because I liked how it was a simple way to illustrate that part of the article.

Screen Shot 2017-05-24 at 18.23.46.png

So far:

Overall, I’m really pleased will how it looks so far. When I hit a brick wall last week I was worried that I wasn’t going to be able to come up with a good idea to keep it rolling. My progression has worked well and I’m pleased will all the feedback I’ve received so far because it’s helped to push and develop my article to the best it can be. I still feel there is a lot of improvement needing for the body text; I’m working with 3000 words which is a huge article to try and put into 6 pages. This is one of the reasons I have chosen to use such big paper so I am able to include the whole article rather than cut parts out; I felt that there was a lot of important parts to the story and overall its a really interesting read so I didn’t want to take any of that out in worry that I’d lose some of the emotion in the article.

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Author: ellenreiddesign

First year Graphic Communication student at Cardiff Metropolitan University.

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